Dogs in the conservatory! From left to right: Molly (our fatso, lazy, labradoodle!) Bud-bud, Bella, and Buddy.

(See those boxes? To the left and under the sofa? Those are my boxes to start a new life with. Three of them are filled with books ... the other two have a few plates and linen. I definitely have my priorities right - books first! The white ones under Buddy are the professionally done photos from when I was a young-teenager! I should get a snap of the one in the frame for you peeps. Been told I look fantastic in them ... which I don't seem to manage to do in any other picture! I'm such a fluffy-mess-ball and totally tom-boy normally.)

The dogs were sunning themselves in the glorious spring-time sun! I joined them moments later with toast smothered in strawberry jam! It's a great little conservatory but not too brilliant to read in because the sun hurt my eyes. I was on book ... I think ... Brooks "The Gypsy Morph"

Went for a walk after picking up Brooks "The Elfstones of Shannara" - still munching my way through books! I'm waiting on "Sword of Shannara" and reading Pratchett in the mean time. Stupid library didn't have what I wanted this time and I think the staff are catching on to my sneakiness and taking out three books at a time. Should get a picture of the library since its a pretty neat building!

Stopped off in Lobs Wood for pictures of daffodils! (You saw it in Winter - here are a few from Spring!)

Proof of Spring stuff happening! New buds on the trees. The apple tree in the back-garden actually has some leaves now. It's awesome! There is so much bird-song out there ... pleasantly deafening! (Not bad focus considering all of these are taken using a phone-camera!)

On to more ... stuff! I was going to say pressing stuff but that would be a lie. There is nothing pressing at all.

What to tell you guys?

I didn’t start the rewrite of Bel-Gonows because a new idea came rushing in instead ... or at least, an old idea that needed reusing. There was a role-play called “Da’anvi Dragons” on AWR. I started it but it was sort of a community thing – born from the DragonAdopters craze where everybody was raising a dragon. It was a community project where everybody gave some input and I helped haul it together. It was a pretty wonderful moment with some many imaginative heads coming together ... but unfortunately the role-play was doomed! It didn’t even make it to the point where the dragons hatch. So, I was sitting staring at the Bel-Gonows manuscript, scratching my head, and generally trying to avoid editing it, when Da’anvi Dragons crossed my mind (it helped that Kaez was talking about maps on AWR and I remembered the map for Da’anvi ...)

Well, I’ve decided that it’s about time I actually tried to write a novel the “correct way.” That is, to not go running at it like a fierce bull (see: NaNoWriMo) because that only leaves me with 50k+ words that need editing and I suck at that part! So starts the Da’anvi project. The first chapter is already written, mostly because it was the first post for the role-play and actually rather well done! Just need to keep that going. This time I will write when I feel like it and when I have inspiration rather than forcing creativity – writing a novel is hard work folks! Unfortunately this will be more difficult because I don’t have a deadline or a set word-limit to reach daily ... in fact, I don’t even need to touch it daily! (Actually, need to have a quick chat with Zovo about it considering his dragon and the plot-line – mental note!)

Other stuff: Mum has moved into her own place with my sister. That leaves me here with the family-friends. I’m not part of their little family unit (according to her, stepdad and the social services people ... which feels great! Feeling a little abandoned and fragile actually.) I’m really hoping that stepdad can behave and really worried about sister and mum. He was a dangerous alcoholic when we were living in Poling with him ... sigh. Wish life wouldn’t be so complicated sometimes! Also wish that all of those in abusive relationships would wake up and realise what I did – but that is another story and one that doesn’t need reliving by me!

The card shop is really pissing me off lately. I’m happy that I’m earning some money and the customers are awesome ... but the job is really hard and time consuming! And some of the people I need to work with don’t particularly like me or my organising style – seems I’ve stepped on all of their toes! I belong in an office or as a PA or something, sales! I belong behind a desk where I know what I need to do and can get on and do it. I’ve had my hours changed so many times in the last two days – I don’t know if I am coming or going. Worse yet, a new card shop have opened up in town which means we have direct competition when we are already struggling to meet quotas! I went in there for the first time today since they’ve opened and I hate to admit it but their shop is so much tidier than ours! They have less of a selection. Their cards are tacky but it is nice in there! They have so much stuff as well, especially for a small space, and all of it has an opposite in our shop. So, gulp!

On the brighter side of work: finally got a 100% in customer services from the area manager! They’ve upgraded me to “Customer Services Guru” – heh. I’ve been working hard to finally get a 100% for our store. We jumped up a whole 11 points (out of 30) because of little-me! So, Hah! Especially to those who find me a bit of a Leo. I thought I wasn’t too bad a Leo, a nice quiet one with reserved confidence and bite, but it turns out others think differently. It’s just that I’m an organiser and leader automatically – so I end up sounding like I am trying to manage what they are doing and giving them orders – which totally isn’t the truth! It’s just my brain organising.

Hmm – what else? Oh, magazine! The Reclusian Times has several donations from writer friends over at AWR and I’m organising the PDF/magazine part to be ready for the beginning of April. The website bits are already loaded and ready to go ... So, yup! That is all booming straight ahead. You guys have a lot to look forward to. I particularly enjoyed Zovo’s and Meleta’s stories – oh and Amy’s two poems! Definitely watch this space! The Reclusian Times goes live soon.

There’s no new news on the publishing front (apart from The Reclusian Times). Amaranthine Muses posted up my poem and I got the contract back to Pill Hill Press. I haven’t heard anything back from the other places I’ve submitted to but I’m not really pushing it right now either.

What I really need to do is get on with the move to St.Albans. My brother contacted me yesterday and told me about a waitressing job going at the pub/restaurant he’s working at ... but it still isn’t where I want to be. Like I said, desk-job, yes please! What would happen if I dropped a plate of food, or worse, if I dropped it on a customer! Still, St.Albans is a short train-journey to London, so maybe I can go for a PA job there? Dunno. I do need to start putting wheels into motion. I did a few figures in my head the other day and I have a little sum of gold behind me, so that shouldn’t be a massive problem. I just don’t want to move without some kind of job in place. I did that once before when I moved to Alton, Hampshire and I suffered for it! Plenty of people over there that could help me do it and I’d have family support and I’d actually be a help over there! I could help out my loverly aunty with my gran, bless her, who’s got dementia. (I’d be a darned-site more helpful than I am here right now since I cannot help mum or sister any more – even if things were to go wrong again!)

Feeling extraordinarily creative today. Buggerit. Might write something fun ... I’ve got a few ideas stewing ... or maybe some origami ... maybe some origami animated ... or perhaps a doodle ... or a drawing ... or a wax-crayon ... something! Maybe just anything! I’m indulging my inner-child, for once. Taking care of myself, again for once! Dropping the walls and the pretending and being fragile for a while and learning how to look after myself the proper way. That means proper bedtimes as well (thank you, Erakko, for bugging me to irritation!)

For now: good morning, good afternoon, good evening, and good night. I love you and I love me and I love the inner-child nestled within my soul too!

How does one go about rewriting an entire novel? Considering restarting the project “Bel-Gonows: The Child” after I read some out to my cousin Richard – and he loved it! In fact, he loved it so much that he told me to stop reading it out to him so he could read the book himself once it was published (cue: “D’aaaaaaaw!”) I believe I posted up a snippet in here somewhere...

The novel “Bel-Gonows: The Child” (when I did it for NaNoWriMo – my first year) ended up at only around 55k words. Any Fantasy that wants to get published ideally needs to be over 80k, probably even 100k ... So, mine is a little short. I know, I know. It isn’t just about the word count. It is also about the story – which I believe is still as original as a snowflake, so I am safe there. However, I did do it at flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants speed. I’m sure, with a lot of revision; it could be a lot longer and honestly a lot better. The beginning is great, although it could use a spit-shine, but the latter end of the novel has some horrific grammar mistakes and I’m pretty sure I dropped the ball on it somewhere! (OH and my main character misbehaved at the end! Funny how characters take on a life of their own ... funny and irritating!)

Good news is that I know roughly what I want it to be ... and I’ve got a lot more experience now. Even just looking back two years I can see the amazing improvement in my writing – and that isn’t just be tooting my own horn! Practice really does make perfect (although I think that may be a bit of a strong statement. Perhaps “Practice really does make it readable” is a better one? Heh!)

It seems I have run into a lot of creativity, suddenly. My fingers are itching to get some seriously long writing done, hence looking at my first novel again. Break-away from Flash fiction for a while. Don’t let myself get pigeon-holed again by the shorter stuff (which did happen just before NaNo-2010 when I got into a knot about going over 5k words – I really am pretty daft sometimes!) I love doing Flash and the shortness of it and the challenge but it is all too easy to get stuck just doing the shorter stuff! It’s also over in a flash (pun intended). There’s nothing to get amazingly attached to and I am missing that right now.

It does, of course, help that I have the next few days off. Means I can sink a lot of time into a new BIG project like reviving a novel. I’d go back to “Alonzo Asa” (my second NaNo-novel) but truth is: I need something innocent again. Okay, “Bel-Gonows” isn’t amazingly innocent but it is Fantasy and that is where my imagination thrives. I want to encounter dragons and dream of fairies for a while ... and not despair that the sexier scenes of Alonzo are over-the-top or whether they will be misconstrued as personal fantasies (Eeeep!)

April is just around the corner! Which means I should, fingers crossed, be hearing from Fangtales/Wyvern Publishing about my short story “Hugbugs” and hopefully with a contract! If you remember back that far, they had expressed an interest and I told them I would hold off sending it elsewhere so they could keep it on hold.

April is also the planned launch date for “The Reclusian Times” – the small e-zine I’ve just started for “A Writer’s Recluse” friends and authors. The blurb on the website is done and ready, and all the links work. Just waiting on some art from friends (thank you Bloodeye – you’ve seen his art in here before with the Dominance War thing – and Shinga!) and a lot more stories (which a few people say they are currently working on!) I must admit that I am pretty nervous ... Especially since the due date is drawing closer and still only two stories. Still, I shall have faith! Just hope I have enough time to sort it all out into some kind of PDF before April!

(April is also ScriptFrenzy – run by the same people who do NaNoWriMo. I must admit that I keep considering the possibility of taking part. I do have an account over there but have never tried it. I don’t think I am much of a script-writer, to be honest. Given it a try and I imagine with practice I probably could ... Again, with the pondering! But I think this year might be a bit too crazy and busy for me to attempt!)

Oh, and my friends over at “6 Minute Magazine” say they are also aiming for the next issue of their magazine at or near the beginning of April. I will link it when they send it out ... because, if you are like me, you also loved it and cannot wait to see the next crop of good tasty and very short stories! Fingers crossed here as well. Remember that I mentioned that I had sent them “Echo”? Well, they sent it back to me asking for a rewrite – holy crap, it wasn’t a rejection! So I revised the story and sent it back. I also just sent them “Bus-Route Rain” because I’ve struggled to find the right home for it ... and think “6 Minute Magazine” might be the right place for it.

Oooooh! Also! Good news! I sent a poem to Amaranthine Muses (“Broken Heart”) and they accepted it. The poem should be posted up on their website in the next few days. I will link it here when it gets published.

Another-also. I sent “Tonight?” (The erotic flash – oops!) to Pill Hill Press for their erotic quarterly anthology – and they also accepted it! It is going in their Sept issue. I will also link that up when it arrives (they have an online shop that you guys could buy it from ... if you want a Delaney story on your bookshelf!) Although – erotic! Oops! I definitely wasn’t expecting them to accept it and now I feel a little embarrassed. I’m not an erotic writer (although Alonzo would probably tell you something different!) Think I shall crawl back to my safety zone of YA Fantasy, thank you!

This means (with those two acceptances) that I am now a published author. Huzzah and celebrations! You certainly need thick-skin and stubbornness and perseverance to succeed in the publishing market. I’ve been pretty lucky and haven’t had to wait that long for somebody to say “Yes, we’ll have it” ... but I don’t expect it to be a smooth ride after this either. Both the publishing places I’ve been accepted to don’t pay anything for the story. So I’m still only minor league but just as chuffed!

As for real life stuff: still working at Clinton Card shop. After a visit to my Aunty Gilli and Uncle Norman (with lovely but dementia-wandering Grandma and amazing guitarist Cousin Richard) I’ve decided that I want to live in or near St. Albans – so that is my next big step. Saving up money to make the big jump. I believe that the creativity community and supportive family there would do me ounces of good (my Brother James is also living there with my new baby Nephew Will!) It is closer to Amaravati the monastery ... and further away from Cittaviveka (which I love so much!) But I am sure I will be able to cope with the change considering the amazing Temple at Amaravati. (Aunty Gilli also reintroduced me to make-up ... Eeeewy! But I do look surprisingly female now and less messy. Even got my hair-cut at the most expensive salon there. Remind me to get you a photo later!)

One final note: good luck to Taed from AWR who is now also trying out the publishing market. (Agro from AWR needs to finish Phantoms and get that published so I can buy it already! Cannot wait to actually read that book – having thoroughly enjoyed his snippets.) Haka from AWR says he will be trying to publish some poetry soon. And Locke from FFF with his scrub-up for 365Tomorrows – which looks like an awesome market to crack and seems to always want submissions of the Sci-Fi variety.

Much love and until next time, which should be in a few days with a link from Amaranthine Muses (Love her website! So clean and professional looking and the poems/stories are beautiful!)